a little bit of honesty!

Can I be honest? The last few weeks here have kinda sucked for me. Am I aloud to say sucked....I can say butt, so maybe suck is okay too! Well anyway, I was having a bit of home sickness, and that is no fun. And we were having some issues with kids as well as some other stuff. I missed my family and my friends and I was frustrated with lots of things.

I stopped doing the things that I usually do here like going out and walking around the neighborhood, and shopping at the small outdoor market by our house. I started only shopping at Carrefour, where I didn't have to talk to anyone. I could get my stuff and be left alone. I could tell the person who is ringing my stuff up that I don't speak Romanian, and I could tell them that in English and they understood. Not like at the market, I have to ask for things on Romanian there. So I stopped going, I stopped walking, and I stopped liking Romania. I forgot why we came here, and I wanted to go home.

Some of you might be thinking, but wait, your a missionary, didn't God call you there. And the answer is yes He did, but do you always feel like doing what God has called you to do...be honest!
If someone would have said, Becky you can go home, and don't worry about a thing. I would have said ....done...send me home. But no one did that.

We were told this would be hard, but you can't imagine how hard it is until you do it. Until you find yourself living and trying to function in a different country. You can't imagine how hard it is when your family is home getting together, and your not there. Or when you friends are having girls nights, or play dates and your not there.

We have made some really great friends here, its not like we are alone! I not saying all of this so people will feel sorry me. I don't want you to get the wrong idea from this either. This is where we live, and this is where we will stay, but this is where my heart was until this morning....

This morning I needed some vegetables for the soup I was going to make for dinner and I had to go to the bank. I could do both of these things just by walking down the street. So I went to the market that I had been avoiding...


And I bought my vegetables and I spoke Romanian to the same girl I always buy them from. And she smiled at me, and seemed happy to see me again. As I walked back home I stopped at another store to buy a drink for Ray, I talked to the two brothers who work there. They speak to me in broken English and I talk to them in very bad Romanian, but it was nice, we laughed at each other! I walked the rest of the way home and I started to remember...

I remembered why we are here, and why we will stay here. I remember that even though I gave up lots of things to be here and made sacrifices to be here, God gave it all. So how can I not stay, even on my bad days, how can I not stay? So hopefully my attitude adjustment will stay adjusted for awhile and all the little kinks that still need to be worked out will be worked out....and we will stay until God tells us to go, whenever that may be....